I think I got increasingly sarcastic as I went on...
1. old and withered face, not unlike the pages of a water-stained book
2. still and broken, like the chiseled surface of water in a summer rain
3. most boys have handwriting that looks like the Hoover Dam collapsing
4. most girls have handwriting that looks like a tall glass of bubble tea
5. a bronze sky, cast in the mold of ideals
6. a frayed tablecloth of tree stumps, shrubs, and decaying rodents
7. the graying of burnt charcoal
8. the sun, hidden by clouds, looked like a bowl of soup reflected in a bent mirror
9. slowly, like a stream of water rolling down an unusually muddy hill
10. as if expecting the open drawer to yield up a redwood
11. arms swinging over the side like pendulums with hinges
12. The iron gate pronounced itself on the landscape, curling and spiking with a tenacity generally reserved only for matriarchs interrogating prospective sons-in law.
13. fingers with the appearance of pickled glass shards
14. a regiment of babies brandishing pacifiers
15. The hat was being crushed, it's brim rising upwards in protest as Carson dropped his prodigious weight downward.
16. a conspiracy of post-it notes designed to strangulate in the oblivion of adhesives and yellow paper
17. convulsing like a tickle-me-elmo on fresh batteries
18. The roadkilled squirrel was dried, still, and bearing a startling resemblance to a brillo pad.
19. A forest of toothpicks blossomed above the fruit bowl.
20. Her chest is flatter than my grandmother's vintage champagne.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Rhetorical Modes
My apologies in advance for my broad interpretations of the rhetorical modes. My chosen topic is truth:
1. Truth cannot be divined, nor can it be extracted, purified, or subdivided. You will never find a vivisection of truth, for as soon as the truth is split, it ceases to be truth. It can only be recapitulated, and even then, one must be careful to leave it unaltered. A skewed version of the truth is not the truth. A part of the truth is an untruth. An absence of truth is darkness. There is no particle of truth.
2. Truth is the actual state of a matter, as opposed to a fact, which is what actually exists in reality. Philosophy is the quest for truth and various truths have been sought out for thousands of years. The truth of the meaning of life, the truth of the universe, the truth of individual pupose. All these have been investigated by means of science, religion, and philosophy. Truth is the thirst of the soul.
3. Those who fail to understand what separates truth from fact fail to see the difference between what is real and what is actually true. To quote Tom Stoppard in The Invention of Love, "He is spoiled, vindictive, utterly selfish and not very talented, but these are merely the facts. The truth is...he is the only one who understands me." One can walk about in fields and find facts everywhere. The grass is green and skies are blue and if a meteorite hits you, you will probably die. But none of these are the truth until they are applied to one's life and the broader concepts which lie beneath living. Try it for yourself and see.
4. I told him that truth is like ice held in the hand, melting and slowly vanishing until you are unsure of whether it is still there or whether it existed at all. But you cannot open your clenched fist to see, I said, because you are afraid. Afraid that by seeing, you will be forced to accept the unwanted facts that are so much less true than the truth you must believe. He smiled. I pressed on. A failure of belief is a failure of soul. The betrayal of one's self is a small matter, but the betrayal of others is the highest of crimes. Truth is the measurement to which all is compared. It is the means of our ascendance and our downfall. He laughed. I never finished.
5. There is no decided-upon method for discovering the truth. Some people have always circumvented the issue by attributing a knowledge of truth as possible only in some non-human, often divine, entity whose omniscience so overshadowed humanity that any longing for understanding was futile. Some philosophies, despite thier purpose, subscribed to this view, but eventually, many adapted it or abrogated it so as to be able to pursue truth for themselves. Nothing can be agreed upon and nothing is definite, but the search continues, as it shall always continue. That is the truth.
6. The simplest form of truth is what is merely true, and we call this fact. Fact should never be taken, for truth, however, becuase the truth can be applied to much more. In Latin, fact referred to something that had been done or performed. It is simple to see how the word has evolved. Fact is now something. Anything. Provided that it is true. Truth is what is true, as well, but in the grandest of ways. A fact is what is true, but the truth is what is actually real.
1. Truth cannot be divined, nor can it be extracted, purified, or subdivided. You will never find a vivisection of truth, for as soon as the truth is split, it ceases to be truth. It can only be recapitulated, and even then, one must be careful to leave it unaltered. A skewed version of the truth is not the truth. A part of the truth is an untruth. An absence of truth is darkness. There is no particle of truth.
2. Truth is the actual state of a matter, as opposed to a fact, which is what actually exists in reality. Philosophy is the quest for truth and various truths have been sought out for thousands of years. The truth of the meaning of life, the truth of the universe, the truth of individual pupose. All these have been investigated by means of science, religion, and philosophy. Truth is the thirst of the soul.
3. Those who fail to understand what separates truth from fact fail to see the difference between what is real and what is actually true. To quote Tom Stoppard in The Invention of Love, "He is spoiled, vindictive, utterly selfish and not very talented, but these are merely the facts. The truth is...he is the only one who understands me." One can walk about in fields and find facts everywhere. The grass is green and skies are blue and if a meteorite hits you, you will probably die. But none of these are the truth until they are applied to one's life and the broader concepts which lie beneath living. Try it for yourself and see.
4. I told him that truth is like ice held in the hand, melting and slowly vanishing until you are unsure of whether it is still there or whether it existed at all. But you cannot open your clenched fist to see, I said, because you are afraid. Afraid that by seeing, you will be forced to accept the unwanted facts that are so much less true than the truth you must believe. He smiled. I pressed on. A failure of belief is a failure of soul. The betrayal of one's self is a small matter, but the betrayal of others is the highest of crimes. Truth is the measurement to which all is compared. It is the means of our ascendance and our downfall. He laughed. I never finished.
5. There is no decided-upon method for discovering the truth. Some people have always circumvented the issue by attributing a knowledge of truth as possible only in some non-human, often divine, entity whose omniscience so overshadowed humanity that any longing for understanding was futile. Some philosophies, despite thier purpose, subscribed to this view, but eventually, many adapted it or abrogated it so as to be able to pursue truth for themselves. Nothing can be agreed upon and nothing is definite, but the search continues, as it shall always continue. That is the truth.
6. The simplest form of truth is what is merely true, and we call this fact. Fact should never be taken, for truth, however, becuase the truth can be applied to much more. In Latin, fact referred to something that had been done or performed. It is simple to see how the word has evolved. Fact is now something. Anything. Provided that it is true. Truth is what is true, as well, but in the grandest of ways. A fact is what is true, but the truth is what is actually real.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Maggie Steber
http://imagedeconstructed.com/post/spotlight-on-maggie-steber
Maggie Steber is an award-winning American photographer noted for her work with National Georgraphic magazine. The website The Image, Deconstructed ran a feature on her body of photographs, especially in regards to an article she did for National Geographic on the subject of memory. The images shown in this feature are touching and saddening, many of them shot in a sepia color scheme to evoke wistful and nostalgic emotions. The image of an old, withered, and apparently disembodied hand appearing from within a sea of bedsheets, for instance, is just as disturbing as it is depressing, though one is unable to explain exactly why this is show. There is something metaphysical about Steber's photographs which make them seem superior to the normal experience of man. They are magical, aetherial, and entirely human.
Maggie Steber is an award-winning American photographer noted for her work with National Georgraphic magazine. The website The Image, Deconstructed ran a feature on her body of photographs, especially in regards to an article she did for National Geographic on the subject of memory. The images shown in this feature are touching and saddening, many of them shot in a sepia color scheme to evoke wistful and nostalgic emotions. The image of an old, withered, and apparently disembodied hand appearing from within a sea of bedsheets, for instance, is just as disturbing as it is depressing, though one is unable to explain exactly why this is show. There is something metaphysical about Steber's photographs which make them seem superior to the normal experience of man. They are magical, aetherial, and entirely human.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
It's All About the Grandmothers - Part the Third
After their various entrances, flourishes, and squawks, both grandmothers (actress and eccentric) settled in the living room to consume bread and hummus. They muddled through fairly well, considering they had nothing in common, and before long were on the topic of singing.
Eccentric Grandmother: I find that my voice isn't nearly as good anymore. I just don't have the range.
Actress Grandmother: O, I learn new song. Practice all the time. Moon River.
EG: Oh, really?
Actress Grandmother: Yes, it's simple. You should try it. I sing for you.
Now when someone sings, especially if they are elderly, you don't really expect much of a voice. The phrasing and the rhythm can get knocked around a little and no one notices. If the singer decides to switch keys between the verse and the chorus, you forgive them. No one really expects much in the way of vibrato, either. One does, however, expect words.
AG: Wait...how does it start.
EG: [sings] Moon River.
AG: Right! [sings]
Eccentric Grandmother: I find that my voice isn't nearly as good anymore. I just don't have the range.
Actress Grandmother: O, I learn new song. Practice all the time. Moon River.
EG: Oh, really?
Actress Grandmother: Yes, it's simple. You should try it. I sing for you.
Now when someone sings, especially if they are elderly, you don't really expect much of a voice. The phrasing and the rhythm can get knocked around a little and no one notices. If the singer decides to switch keys between the verse and the chorus, you forgive them. No one really expects much in the way of vibrato, either. One does, however, expect words.
AG: Wait...how does it start.
EG: [sings] Moon River.
AG: Right! [sings]
Moon River
Wider than a smile
EG: Mile.
AG:
Wider than a mile
I'm crossing you in style some way
EG: Someday.
AG: Someday.
Father: [poking head from kitchen] Is that the Hallelujah Chorus?
AG: [ignoring son-in-law]
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you're going, I'm going your way
[decides to quit while she's ahead]
EG: That was lovely.
AG: See? Easy.
Friday, November 23, 2012
It's All About the Grandmothers - Part the Second
The second (eccentric) grandmother arrived twelve minutes late in a car that I didn't recognize. After denying me the right of helping her, she trucked her twelve bags into the house, ignored the slippers we'd bought for her, and handed us a twelve-pack of sparkling water. Eventually, the small talk began to bore her and she launched into an update of her home's renovations, which she described as if relating the procedural steps entailed in a lobotomy.
Before long, the topic of dinner was introduced. We mentioned that the turkey would be ready around 6.00. She balked. Her response to our inquiries as to her reaction: "I have a date at eight."
Did I mention she's sixty-six?
And at eight she went.
Before long, the topic of dinner was introduced. We mentioned that the turkey would be ready around 6.00. She balked. Her response to our inquiries as to her reaction: "I have a date at eight."
Did I mention she's sixty-six?
And at eight she went.
It's All About the Grandmothers - Part the First
The first (actress) grandmother was scheduled to arrive at two o'clock.
The first (actress) grandmother was scheduled to arrive at two o'clock, but arrived at three.
A small, Asian lady in the essential small, Asian mode of transportation (the Toyota Camry), I stood watching in the window as she parked in the driveway. I also stood watching in the window as she did not exit the Toyota Camry, but sat placidly for over a minute. Finally, she exited, and proceeded to walk down the street in the midst of snowfall.
Did I mention she's seventy-four?
When she returned ten minutes later, I opened the door and attempted to take her bags. She unleashed a broken English harangue in which I was repeatedly reprimanded for not immediately throwing the door open upon her crossing of the driveway threshold.
The actress grandmother had made her entrance.
The first (actress) grandmother was scheduled to arrive at two o'clock, but arrived at three.
A small, Asian lady in the essential small, Asian mode of transportation (the Toyota Camry), I stood watching in the window as she parked in the driveway. I also stood watching in the window as she did not exit the Toyota Camry, but sat placidly for over a minute. Finally, she exited, and proceeded to walk down the street in the midst of snowfall.
Did I mention she's seventy-four?
When she returned ten minutes later, I opened the door and attempted to take her bags. She unleashed a broken English harangue in which I was repeatedly reprimanded for not immediately throwing the door open upon her crossing of the driveway threshold.
The actress grandmother had made her entrance.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Political Cartoons
http://www.cagle.com/2012/11/bye-bye-birdie/
This political cartoon, wittily titled after the wretched 1961 musical, is a humorous commentary on the 2012 presidential election. The cartoon depicts the Sesame Street character Big Bird driving a car, to the top of which is strapped a kennel containing Mitt Romney. During a presidential debate, candidate Romney said that he would cut funding for public broadcasting, despite the fact that he loved Big Bird, a comment which raised almost as much ire as it did eyebrows. The point of the picture is to put a comical spin on Romney's loss of the election, showing Big Bird as the victor with an imprisoned Romney.
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/politicalcartoons/ig/Political-Cartoons/Seceding-From-America.htm
In this cartoon, the various post-election secessionist movements are lampooned in the figure of an overweight tricorne-wearing idiot exiting a house labeled "America" whilst shouting the valediction, "Don't beg me to stay, I'm seceding!" Those inside react with the murmur, "Quick! Change the locks." The cartoonist is satirizing those who wish to secede from the union in reaction to Obama's victory by portraying them as unwanted dolts believing they are making a massive statement in leaving a group who can only be thrilled by their absence.
This political cartoon, wittily titled after the wretched 1961 musical, is a humorous commentary on the 2012 presidential election. The cartoon depicts the Sesame Street character Big Bird driving a car, to the top of which is strapped a kennel containing Mitt Romney. During a presidential debate, candidate Romney said that he would cut funding for public broadcasting, despite the fact that he loved Big Bird, a comment which raised almost as much ire as it did eyebrows. The point of the picture is to put a comical spin on Romney's loss of the election, showing Big Bird as the victor with an imprisoned Romney.
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/politicalcartoons/ig/Political-Cartoons/Seceding-From-America.htm
In this cartoon, the various post-election secessionist movements are lampooned in the figure of an overweight tricorne-wearing idiot exiting a house labeled "America" whilst shouting the valediction, "Don't beg me to stay, I'm seceding!" Those inside react with the murmur, "Quick! Change the locks." The cartoonist is satirizing those who wish to secede from the union in reaction to Obama's victory by portraying them as unwanted dolts believing they are making a massive statement in leaving a group who can only be thrilled by their absence.
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